WAGS 18.03.2020: The Quarantine Diaries: Week 1

Greetings all (The WAGS CV greeting)

Simple I thought. Myriam and I will keep walking as long as allowed during the current crisis, not just on Wednesdays, but we would record our Wednesday activities, and the blog of the day would provide me with some mental exercise, as a break from binge watching box sets .
   As an afterthought, I circulated a short sentence on Whatsapp on Wednesday to say: Today is Wednesday, so I would be grateful for any short witty reports, with photos, on how you filled the huge hole in your Wednesday mornings.
   I was totally unprepared for the burst of creativity that followed, but having committed I will publish each contribution in the order received, largely unedited. Hopefully John will ease the workload by adding his own contribution of his unsanctioned, illegal, Same Way, Same Day  4 WAG outing.

First out of the blocks was Peter, who mailed his contribution at 1130 am on Wednesday, while most of us were still afoot.

He wrote:- As you can see I am spending my morning in a very leisurely fashion. 

I liked the breakfast tray, and the brown velvet smoking jacket, and wondered if Sonia was getting soft, or whether this was an elaborately staged event to prove he was getting spoilt. I hope it was just the latter and that he wasn't there as a result of not feeling well. Anyway he looks very content. I won't attempt to identify the dogs in the picture.

Next was an amusing interlude on Whatsapp when Janet, who had been reading, posted about the origins of the two-fingered salute, or giving the forks. According to her research:-

Apropos of Paul and Rod opting for a three finger salute. Yesterday I was reading about the Battle of Azincourt (fr.sp.) The French despised the English archers and threatened to slaughter them or at least cut off their fingers. The archers waved their fingers at the French to show they could still fire their arrows......hence the two finger insult still used today.

This was grist to my mill, as I had heard the story and considered it apocryphal, 1 minute later, research done, I riposted:

Origins. A commonly repeated legend claims that the two-fingered salute or V sign derives from a gesture made by longbowmen fighting in the English archers at the Battle of Agincourt (1415) during the Hundred Years' War, but no written historical primary sources support this contention..

However the 3 fingers are not so common. In Hunger Games:

At first one, then another, then almost every member of the crowd touches the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and holds it out to me. It is an old and rarely used gesture of our district, occasionally seen at funerals. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means good-bye to someone you love.

Also the Three-Fingered salute is a humorous nickname for hitting Control - Alt - Delete simultaneously on a Windows keyboard to evoke Task Manager, switch off or change user. So there!  However It is best known as the WAGS CV greeting.

Janet clearly hadn't been involved in various arguments on fake news and considered her quoted version as definitive and sent me privately, a photo of a page on which it appeared  in actual print.

Impressive, but still unsourced, however she remedied this almost immediately:

Strange to define the truth as b*llocks. A good read I am sure. Anyway, it helps to pass the time!!

After some delay, Maria added to the discussion about 3 finger salutes:

Hello perhaps the conversation finished and I know nothing I'm from Barcelona but Baden Powell sorry if the name is not correct the scout people they salute with the three fingers up I know in a different time!

Absolutely right Maria.  Bob a job used to be a great deal, but the Scouts kept their fingers together, and not forming the stylish W  shape.

Antje and Chris newly returned and spiritually refreshed from India, and still glowing with the fact that they made it back without getting trapped and quarantined, also strolling through immigration in Lisbon without a second glance or even being asked from whence they came, weighed in with a few photos and some text of their Wednesday exercise.

A friend of our son in law in Edinburgh, who is a surgeon, stressed how important it was to keep exercising. Thus you have strong, healthy lungs should you be unlucky enough to catch the virus. A positive advice for a change. 
Our exercise this morning:-

Sasha at Ponte de Piedade

Off-piste

A proper WAGS path

Alas no stats but honour satisfied.

Terry and Jill were next:

Hi Paul This is what we got up to on Wednesday, sun shining and quite warm so we decided to walk to Querenca along the trails and tracks, after the rain the orchids were out in flower. On the down side the two cafes we know were shut so lunch was whatever we could find in the bottom of the bag one energy bar and bit of chocolate a orange that just fell off the tree! No one about villages empty, anyway a good stretch of the legs.

Beccy gets a share of lunch

and a couple of nature pics

 Jill and Beccy watered and resting.

Thoughtful as ever Terry provided a map:

and also some stats via Garmin:

Great to see what the team achieved, without other dilatory WAGS to wait for, but this blatant disregard for WAGS criteria was only excusable because it wasn't an official WAGS outing.  Moving average of 4.5 km/hr - Outrageous! and I bet they climbed well over the desirable 200 m limit!!

Rod outdid himself, not by walking prowess, but by composing almost a complete blog on his pre-reccied route in WhatsApp:

I am sure you have been glued to your mobile/tablet/pc/apple screens, not only to keep pace with the inexorable advance of the dreaded Covid-19  but also to see reports of the amazing physical feats performed by me in lieu of the weekly treks of the WAGS. Well I keep you waiting no longer!

Confined to a lengthy internment as we presently are the choice of route was somewhat limited...and indeed unusually for me, well reccied.

(Ed's note : Doubts as to the bona fides of this 'walk' can be discerned from the footwear and gardening jeans being sported on this 1 in 2 ascent!)

Despite suffering from near Covid-19 (but not that near...yet) symptoms I set off up this challenging route..the summit barely visible in the crepuscular gloom.

I eventually summited without having to resort to a ventilator.

Following a rapid descent..which as mountaineers well know has a  higher mortality rate than the ascent..I was quizzed by the concerned leader of the house team why I had done such a reckless thing. Well since our bedroom is on the ground floor I could only reply in the immortal words of Mallory.."because it's there".

That achieved the next challenge was a descent into the underworld...the route of Orpheus. Not in search of Eurydice as myth would have it (goodness, Covid-19 hasn't got that far yet!) but to seek the inner sanctum of Hades..the cellars of Bacchus.

Within these portals lay the Holy Grail of what ought to be a true WAG and surely the only cure  known to man of the dreaded Covid-19, well perhaps the best method anyway of terminating it!

Ed.- Wait till you see his toilet roll rack! Talk about stockpiling!

Following a short sampling and laden with some 10 kilos of Bacchus' stocks I struggled back up the slippery steps and emerged into the light of day,  content and I thought,  physically satisfied.

Following a well earned siesta I was reattached somewhat peremptorily to  a short leash and told to get on with something useful. 

I am sure you cannot wait to learn what will happen next week.

A great and imaginative report, but lacking stats and showing his usual disdain for lunch - no picture nor record!

Lindsey was apparently out supervising her latest toyboy in planting her fields with Andrex.

   As for Myriam and myself, determined to keep up the series AND remain scrupulously within WAGS limits, I planned a 9.99 km route with 199m of climb in our environs. That we failed to achieve the full route was partially due to our finding a Supermercado on the way round, with no millennials queuing for toilet paper, so took the opportunity to obtain some fresh basics, rice, potatoes, bread and veg.  This added quite a considerable load to the already impressive amount I have to carry on my daily round so we curtailed the walk slightly, nevertheless comfortably exceeding our 8000 paces.

Marred by my omitting the starter photo and forgetting to start Viewranger until we were on the main bridge crossing the River Bensafrim, the true distance was just over  7 km.

On the way round we snapped a few items of interest.  My attempt to get the walk proceeding at the sort of pace that even Terry would admire was thwarted by Myriam's tendency to greet every passing stranger and pass comment on the COVID-19 situation. By the time i reached the bridge she was over 200 metres behind - healthy social distancing!

Fortunately there were few strangers about to buttonhole!

We passed a monument to a fallen walker. He had removed his boots before he jumped as they often do!!

At the top of the Avenida we could clearly see an oil exploration rig, less than 2 km offshore. I thought this had been stopped, but the rig had been there for 3 days. Later enquiries revealed it was apparently on its way to Netherlands, but in 3 days I bet they had a quick shufti just in case there really was oil.  It has since left,

Myriam by now had decided to experiment with anti-virus masking>

After a steep climb up to the Bombeiros and thence to the Triangulos roundabout we encountered the Supermercado, which can be seen in the background of this shot of an overloaded hiker!

Further on we came across this guard dog, which alas would not, in daylight , fool the least experienced cat-burglar,

Beware of the soggy dog!

Luckily there was a high quality DIY Home Cafe at the end of the walk, known as our place.

In lieu of the traditional bifana, having raided Iceland earlier in the week, I replenished on a brace of Melton Mowbray individual pies and a freshly baked  cheese, tomato and jamon serrano (12 months matured) on an  open carcaca roll, with a  Nespresso Vivalto Lungo.

Myriam went for the prato do dia, a mixture of chickpeas, peas and noodles, garnished with salsa and claimed she felt much healthier than I.

So with only John's unsanctioned event to recount I will sign off and leave it to him to play his Trump! Meanwhile a quick reminder of what quarantine must have looked like to the WAGS who didn't get out.

Oh and talking of 'Toilet Paper Gate' and the bizarre emptying of supermarket shelves in UK and US, I was reminded of a couple of verses from Ian Scott's seminal anthology entitled, The Old Surbs Rugby Song Book, published for the Help the Heroes Charity. (sung to the tune of 'She'll be coming round the mountain')

There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobil

There's a shortage of good bogs in Mobil.

       There's a shortage of good bogs

       So they wait until it clogs

Then they saw it off in logs in Mobil

Chorus : 

In Mobil, In Mobil etc............

There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobil

There's a shortage of bog paper in Mobil.

         There's a shortage of bog paper

          So they wait until it's vapour

Then they light it with a taper in Mobil.

(and many other less savoury verses)

I'll end there - (thank goodness some might say) and won't delve in to the rugby song version of La Marseillaise, which could also be classed as lavatory humour, and perhaps leave that to our resident Frenchie!!

This is now JohnH butting in. Initially, I was hesitant to do so, given that what was a simple, innocent little stroll has been described above as an "unsanctioned, illegal, Same Way, Same Day, 4 WAG outing." Heaven knows what sort of criticism I will incur from the Dragon Empress among others for having dared to venture out in proximity with three other walkers, well-separated at all times although we were.

However, "challenged to play my Trump" and if only to reveal to the walking world the transcendental metamorphosis of Yves, I will.

Well, it really all started on the Monday when Hazel dragged me out on a "Let´s Keep Ourselves Fit" walk. We started from O Retiro dos Pescadores, which sadly was now shut for the duration. 

We managed a 8 km circuit with (to us) a new track which I think will provide another good APAPS early morning walk for later this summer; one has to plan ahead, doesn´t one?. We concluded with a bifana and beer at Casinhas (which was open but has since closed.)

Then on the Tuesday, not that I run to a Cellar of Bacchus  of the Frew proportions, I thought that I would nip across to the wine merchants Catuna & Silva near Albufeira to stock up for the coming weeks of deprivation but they out-thought me and had already put up the shutters of their armazem, indefinitely. Foiled, I returned via Poço Frito seeking a bica, only to find that Café Martins, now sporting a spanking new canopy and frontage, was even so also closed, indefinitely. Hey ho!

Filling the Wednesday Morning Hole

And now we come to Wednesday. Since official WAGS activities had been suspended, I decided to show Hazel another possible APAPS track starting from Figueira´s Snack Bar TassBem. To our surprise, this was open, with the usual expat Ladies coffee group in full session. 

And to our further surprise and by some absolutely extraordinary coincidence, Maria and Yves happened to be there too, also about to do a walk. We all kept our distance, of course.

Strictly Two Metres Apart

                                                              

Without ever congregating too closely, the four of us nevertheless moved in roughly the same direction for most of the morning. And it was at the Mexilhoeira Grande railway station that the  remarkable transformation took place.....

 I became disorientated, no doubt because of the incessant thundering roar of passing trains, and was in danger of going down a path which would have got us nowhere fast, when Yves stepped up to the plate, took on the role of Local Guide, and accepted all the responsibility for guiding us for the rest of the day. Not only that but he was able to warn us that one of the dykes with raised pathways around the Espargueira wetland reserve had been breached so that it is now not possible to complete that particular circuit.

 In the reserve, there was a young hydrologist doing something scientific in the wetlands with an elaborate GPS device.

Maria cross-examined him and found out that the breach had been made deliberately by the local camera because the pathway had deteriorated to such an extent as to become dangerous. It will be repaired eventually..... maybe. Hazel proposed a €1 tax on all Portuguese tax payers to pay for repairs, but didn´t get much support for her idea. 

But back to Yves. He has received some stick in the past for being prone to getting lost. No longer. It seems that, unbeknownst to his friends, he has been taking supplements to stimulate growth of his hippocampi. “As any fule do kno”, humans and other mammals have two hippocampi, one on each side of the brain and they play important roles in, among other things, the spatial memory that enables navigation. Black cab drivers in London ( don´t get me wrong: I refer to the colour of the taxi cabs) have particularly well-developed hippocampi. I would not go so far to claim that Yves is in their league (not quite yet) but the potential for his actually leading a walk one day is there.

Anyway, this informal quartet completed a walk of some 13 kms (perhaps a bit too long for APAPS but there are possibilities for shortening it) and were then able to partake of refreshments back at the still well-patronised Snack Bar TassBem. One supposes that that café too is now closed indefinitely.

                                       Hazel is pleasantly surprised by her Arroz de Pato

                      

                                              The Tosta Mista wasn´t too shabby either

Since this was not an official WAGS walk (how could it be? we didn´t even have a quorum), WAGS criteria didn´t apply.

But even so, yes, Average Moving Speed a bit high for some at 4.5 kph, and Distance at nearly 13 km too long; but only 162 metres climbing is promising for the future.