WAGS 20.05.2020: Quarantine Diaries Week 10

        


             I held out for a couple of days since Wednesday, wondering if one of the more active walker/bloggers might kick off this blog, but no. I am doomed to declare my hand before the responses come in.

     First item on the agenda was a service oil change for the Ford prior to IPO Test booked for Thursday. The Ford had been imploring me to change the oil via dashboard messages for about a week, and it was becoming tiresome. Normally I would buy the oil and filter, and sort this myself, but I happened to be at Radio Popular in Portimao on another mission on Monday, and as it was next door to Roady, I went there to get the oil and filter. I saw a sign stating that if I bought the oil there, they would change it for €14.95, which seemed reasonable, given the mess and sweat involved in DIY.
    Made an appointment which was apparently only available on Wednesday at 9am, and we arrived first. After some tribulation not worthy of mention, but a fine example of  'Little man in position of power' syndrome, the job was done by the affable chief mechanic, all signed up and the annoying dashboard messages quelled.

    We were at the beginning of a summer heatwave, and by the time we were finished, we abandoned any ideas of walking, 
   
       So Blog Topic of the week!  Difficulty is to pick a fascinating topic which you have researched and will be of riveting interest to all readers. I briefly considered a Post Modern literary solution of leaving a big blank space and leaving the readers to fill it with their own imagination, but for obvious reasons, considering the potential readers of the blog, this was not a prospect.  John has managed well with Guinea Fowl, and other topics have been the spring flowers garlanding the Algarve, and  Karma.  Eventually I decided on a topic that I had already researched - Zebra Finches - and an issue that is often discussed on our walks - sex.

      Since Georgina  had arrived on St George's Day and  taken up residence in our recovery facilities, I had done a bit of research into Zebra Finches.  One important item was that they required company as unlike us for the past 10 weeks, they are sociable. So on Colonel Tom's 100th birthday, I acquired a male Zebra Finch from Ornimundo in Portimao, and named him Colonel Tom in his honour. Now  it turns out that his correct title should be Captain Sir Thomas Moore, since his knighthood.

   
     Now the Zebra Finch online manual was absolutely correct, they did enjoy company. They bonded immediately chirping away happily and bouncing from perch to perch in complete synchronicity.
    I was convinced that Georgina was a fledgeling and therefore not sexually mature, so was not too preoccupied with the mysterious sex-life of birds.  However, I didn't count on that virile Casanova, Colonel Tom, being quite so vigorous.*

Tongues!!

Note* It turns out after research that he couldn't have done it without a lot of cooperation from her, so she is equally culpable and not an innocent victim, though possibly under age.

The first (broken) egg appeared on the floor of the cage on 10th May. There had been quite a lot of canoodling the previous week, (and who knows what they got up to when the cage was covered for the night).. In the absence of a nest it must have been dropped from a perch and hit the bars on the floor of the cage.

  The next day, I had put a box with some shredded paper in the cage as a temporary repository, should there be more. There was one, this time intact but as an inexperienced layer, Georgina hadn't recognised my box as a nest, and the egg was on the floor but unbroken.

Nothing for it but to procure them a nest and lacking the ability or nerve to climb a tree nearby and requisition an old sparrows nest, I headed for Ornimundo and made maternity preparations!

   Eggs followed at fairly regular 2 day intervals, and with one more broken in the nest somehow, we ended up with 6 eggs out of a possible 8.

     Three and a cracked one

       
There was no sign of sitting on the eggs from either bird until the last one (of 8) was laid, then Colonel Tom took over and tidied the nest and began to spend more time sitting on the eggs as is often the case with the male of the species.

At night they cuddled up together and both crammed into the nest!

But in the main a couple of days after they started sitting, Tom was doing most of the work! I am fervently hoping that they don't hatch, as I will have another 6 problems then.

And so to the whole point of this monograph.

HOW DO THEY DO IT?

    I am sure that we didn't cover bird reproduction, other than superficially, during my biology classes about 60 years ago Birds lay eggs right!  Now a whole new world was opening up to me with the assistance of T'Internet.  

It turns out that out of around 10,000 species of birds only   3% have a penis!! Well the males anyway.. These include ducks, geese and swans and large flightless birds such as ostriches, emus.

Now I know most of you want to see a duck penis, but if you don't, pass over this video below!

It is entitled 'Explosive eversion of a duck penis' and it belongs to a very proud Muscovy duck, That long corkscrew is apparently typical of the species, but some ducks have helical penises that are longer than their entire bodies. The amazing thing is not the size and the shape, but the fact that it has one at all!

There are lots of animals that have evolved penises, but few that have lost them. Chickens have a tiny nub, but it is not much good for penetration. Why should a creature with a breeding process that involves the male depositing sperm inside a female's body, have done away with the penis?

     There is a fairly involved genetic process that may provide one answer, but too long to discuss here. Another reason may be that they can fly better without, or have less risk of  STD's, or even perhaps to lessen vulnerability to predators if they are caught in flagrante delicto! The mating process is shamefully quick. Watch this video of two Dunnocks completing the transfer - don't blink at around 36 seconds or you will miss it! There is a lot of foreplay involved!

Another theory, (which seems very credible) is that the female birds are responsible. Male ducks often force themselves on females with their mighty corkscrews, so females might prefer a male with a more diminutuve one for breeding, and by choosing the peniley-challenged specimens, perpetuated an evolution to dickless males, who require a great degree of cooperation from the females to mate.

Now  for the 97% of birds that don't have one, it has been replaced by a cloacal opening. 

Instead of penetration, the two birds just smash their cloacal areas together, and somehow, the accuracy is such that the male deposits his wad in a fraction of a second. Now I ask you - What fun is there in that?



 The cloaca is the single posterior opening for a bird's digestive, urinary, and reproductive tracts and is used to expel feces and lay eggs. The cloaca is found on the rear of the body under the base of the tail, covered by feathers on the extreme lower abdomen. (An all-in-one multi tool!)


Seagulls seem to have a very large and prolific one to judge from my car roof!!






Genitalia are the fastest evolving organs in animals.

In mammals, sperm passes down a tube that’s fully enclosed within the penis; in birds and reptiles, it goes down an open groove. Some mammals have a bone in the penis, or a coat of spines; others don’t. Snakes, lizards and kangaroos have two-pronged penises, while echidnas have four-pronged ones. Mammals inflate their penises with blood; birds use lymph; alligators have a permanently erect penis connected to a bungee cord. When Darwin spoke of “endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful”, it’s easy to envisage him talking about penises. Or a lack of them.

And there you have it. Now you know as much as I do about the breeding habits of birds.  I don't understand yet how the female bird does not need to keep the eggs warm from the moment they are laid, but it was at least an 8 day delay before my two started sitting. Hopefully, nothing will come of this first batch, but I will let you know.

And to finish my segment, a fabulous 'Egg' video from Fred and Ginger!!

After all that steamy stuff, a pause while I mop my brow if I may be allowed; and then I can announce that.......... 
........................Normal.Blog Service is now resumed, JohnH reporting.

It looks as if lack of walking and enforced isolation are beginning to get to Paul. He has our commiserations. Happily for some, a reasonable replica of a WAGS walk did take place this  Wednesday and this is well-described in the following slightly edited Report from Leader Rod Frew:

Was this a WAGS walk or was it a WAGS Irregulars walk with a WAGS interloper? In numerical terms 4 to 1 (and a dog) it had to be the latter but was the presence of a full-blown (blown being the operative word as he was one tooth missing!) WAGS member sufficient to identify this as a WAGS walk? This would seem to be a major constitutional issue which may require a General Assembly to resolve.   In any event the walk was under WAGS general direction as the  Irregulars opted to acquiesce to a broadly similar walk undertaken by WAGS pai e filho  two or three weeks earlier as it was mostly new territory for them. 

So Ember and myself cautiously ( after all who knows what these Irregulars have really been up to!)... and obeying all the rules of distancing and greetings, of course.... met up with the Irregulars ( John & Hazel, Yves  and Maria for the uninitiated!) at the Mira Rio car park for a 9.00 start...in the heat it might have been wiser to have made it earlier. 

We crossed the river and took the first right up the gated track entering a private hunting reserve. Further details on this may be found in the relevant blog a  couple of weeks ago. 

We reached the trig point without further ado.......

("without further ado" is an example of typical Frew poetic licence.The reality was that we had ascended over 100 metres in world record time. See Rod´s diagram at the end of the report(Ed))

 and spent some time admiring both the view from it and, of course, the view of it suitably enhanced by Maria's shapely form.

 We descended to the valley so carelessly cleared following the fires but instead of taking the path through the treacherous ravine and rockfall which might have been the death of the Irregulars,  we headed round a couple of hills further north before taking another footpath up to the same ridge and then down into the Falacho valley. Surprisingly perhaps there is still plenty of water running in the river, much to Ember´s relief and plenty of flowers along the banks for Maria to decorate herself with and for Hazel to photo.  

A spotless Cistus

Returning, we opted to stay on the main track, tarmacked for about 1k, rather than take a path through private land on the other side of the river, and so down to the main 124 road. 

Lollipop Man

We crossed to the Ilha de Rosario and through Val de Lama village and down to the canal.

 Ember enjoyed another swim and, since John had disappeared, it was feared he too might have gone for an inadvertent swim; Maria and I retraced our steps to rescue him. Well, in the event, he had taken a short cut but, on the other hand it ensured that Maria and I recorded an extra 1/2k taking our final distance to well over 7k !!     Back at the Mira Rio we found a spacious table but the restaurant had opted not to open for now....they were happy to sell you a bag of oranges at arms length however. To make up for it however John had most magnanimously brought along a cool box with drinks which seemed to include everybody´s favourite tipple. The things these WAGS Irregulars think of!

The Viewranger version of the walk

What else to mention? Well, during the walk, Yves had continued to indulge his obsession with building towers of stone

and he also seems to be fixated by pythons and similar reptiles, as evidenced by this photograph that he has submitted - nothing to do with anything seen on the walk, by the way. Paul may wish to ruminate on obsessive behaviours in his next edition.

Anyone know the name of the thing?

And oh, yes, post-walk conversation turned to viruses other than the one that gives human beings lockdown, in particular to the very worrying one affecting olive and citrus trees which, if an antidote is not discovered soon, may have serious economic consequences in this part of the world. The name of this virus, which escaped us on Wednesday, is:-
huanglongbin or  citrus greening. Google Florida Orange disease for more info.

To cheer you up, following the great success of the Scottish video Super-Sex, here is another Scottish piece, no video, I´m sorry, just the words, best spoken with a broad Aberdeen accent:

Iain is getting on his wife´s nerves what with him hanging around the house all day because of lockdown. So she sends him off on an errand to the chemists. There´s a lassie behind the counter. 
Says Iain to the assistant:"Whut´s the best thing tae get rid o´ coronavirus?"
Assistant: "Ammonia cleaner."
Iain: "Och, sorry, Ah thought ye were the pharmacist."

And to cheer Paul up even further, here is a wee reminder that Robinson Crusoe, one of the world´s most famous isolationists, didn´t let it get him down.

And if you´re still wondering about the chemist joke, here´s a clue:-